Veni vidi vici. 


You know what’s the most frustrating thing about losing someone? To me…

It’s not the memories you left with, or the feeling of hopelessness, neither the absence you’re faced with daily- hourly or every single fucking second, nor the emptiness. 

It’s the plans, how all of a sudden you’re just left with these– all these goddam wistful plans that’ll result in nothing. 

Plans you one day made together become mere thoughts in your head– a part of your imagination that no one will ever come to know, but you. How all of a sudden “one days” become “what ifs.” 

How life for everyone else continues and yours just pauses… it stops & for long while you left feeling heartsore, purposeless– helpless. 

& while everyone continues with their lives you fixed being bitter & angry because  they’re able to do just that– ‘continue’ while everything in your life disintegrates time & time again. & how every single time you can do absolutely nothing about it, not a fucking thing but plan on- figure out how you’re going to crawl your way out of yet another tragedy in this shitty thing  I- we have come to know as Life. 

F*cked up isn’t it?

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This is the End. 

Dear John…

It may all seem selfish to you right now. God, it would seem selfish to me too if I were you but it couldn’t be. 

I tried for a short-while but I wanted more, I wanted so much more. I wanted depth, you wanted to feel overwhelmed… suffocated by constant loving, I wanted rawness, realness, excitement & unfortunately that wasn’t it,

We weren’t it. 

I was a coward, but you can’t , better yet– you shouldn’t hold anything against me because I tried, but somethings are not meant to be. Together we were not meant to be. 

I’m not the kind to shift blame but you kept trying to change me, I was often too much of this for you & too much of that–

 “& You tried to change didn’t you? 

closed your mouth more

tried to be softer

prettier

less volatile, less awake

you can’t make homes out of human beings

someone should have already told you that.”

– Warsan Shire. 

You’d try to tame me but I’ve learnt to make it on my own & love myself enough to never feel alone.  

In the end I apologise for the feelings of hatred & sadness that I may have brought upon you , I apologise for the times i made you believe that perhaps that was love but above all I apologized for making you believe that I loved you. 

Young & naive I did not know what Love was or is but one thing is certain, that wasn’t it. 

…For now I just want to feel equally yoked & that’s ok. 

Ps: You deserve that too. ❤️

Easy. 

I just want somebody who will stand by my side. Tell me that I’m doing good & everything will be just fine. 

Someone who sees me- sees me for who I truly am, a cold pessimistic, selfish, dark soul & chooses to love me anyway. 

Somebody who doesn’t have to always understand but listens & more than anything, tries– who holds me tight at night and reassures me that we gon’ be alright. 

Someone real, so far from perfect & yet so close. Somebody that loves, loves hard. 

Because loving a man has never come easy, so I just need somebody who will meet me halfway & make this all seem okay. 

Kryptonite.

“The problem with love is; you can love who you want… But so can they.”
 – Unknown. 

I’m afraid to love

To give, to fall. 

I’m afraid it’s all in my head. 

Figments of my imagination.

I’m afraid to let go

To give in, to live & forgive. 

I’m afraid of you

Of me, of us & what we could be.

I’m afraid to let you love me

To love you, to love us. 

But above all I’m afraid that you may not be so heavenly as you seem, I’m afraid that you might be the exact opposite of that.

I’m afraid to let myself be held by you because that would give you the power not only to build me, but also destroy me. 

Destroy me profoundly, ruthlessly because I learnt a long time ago that a feeling this deep can only result in one of two things. 

1. Heaven or

2. Hell

But whatever it is, I just want you to know that I’ve picked my poison & it’s you. 

All I want is you. 

Company. 

“Question is, can you forgive me baby. Can you forgive me for the way I love you? I love you from a distance. I love you, so persistent.”

-Tory Lanez

Fact is- this is all new to me. 
This vibe we got going on? I wouldn’t change it for the world, but I’m not going to act all nonchalant about it like I’m okay with this & I don’t think about it. 

Like all this doesn’t frighten me a little, like the feeling of needing someone is okay with me because honestly speaking I’ve never really needed anyone but myself, I’ve never come to need someone as much as I need you. 

I’m learning to deal with the emotions & come to terms with the given facts, it’s not easy, especially for me. 

You know It’s kinda hard to be consistent when you constantly doing everything by yourself with no assistance but between you & I , I’m kinda digging the feeling of having someone in corner, someone besides myself. 

Be what it may be, I’m down for the cause. I’m down for you. 

Lição. 

Com o pouco tempo de vida que tenho aprendi que a sabedoria não vem com a idade vem das experiências. As minhas lições vieram com tempo e sobre elas tenho isso a dizer:

Sei que por vezes viver pode parecer exaustivo…por isso acredito que não há um amor melhor que o amor próprio e que a solidão é necessária de vez em quando, neste mundo tão repleto de futilidade. 

A minha felicidade é exactamente isso MINHA! Eu, tu…não precisas de ninguém para ser feliz alto lá , aprenda que nada e ninguém será realmente seu por isso não ponha todos os seus ovos em uma sexta só. 

Saiba que cada um de nós temos um destino a caminhar, tem gente que vem e gente que vai..vamos todos tomar o nosso rumo eventualmente e isso é a lei da vida, nunca te culpes. 

Há momentos em que vais sentir que deste do seu melhor, que estás sempre aí pra todos e ninguém aí pra si, não te abales a vida é mesmo assim. 

Todos nós temos a nossa jornada, os mais próximos podem se tornar distantes no início isso tudo possa doer mas garanto que vai passar. 

Ultimamente: Cada um deve ter de te o lado que merece, deixe a paz reinar e nunca trate como prioridade quem trata como opção. 

Faça sempre a sua parte e deixa que o resto a vida toma conta. 

Anjos. 


Há pessoas que entram nas nossas vidas sem explicação, sem mais nem menos. Subitamente as vossas vidas colidiram e almas entrelaçaram. 

Pessoas que trazem com elas um paz de espírito, pessoas iluminadas. Pessoas que só fazem bem, contribuem a sua felicidade , serenidade- gente boa de querer sempre por perto. 

Quando isso acontecer, segure firme a eles- não os large, porque seres humanos como eles têm se tornada escasso. Valorize , prece e faça bom proveito meu amor!