It may all seem selfish to you right now. God, it would seem selfish to me too if I were you but it couldn’t be.
I tried for a short-while but I wanted more, I wanted so much more. I wanted depth, you wanted to feel overwhelmed… suffocated by constant loving, I wanted rawness, realness, excitement & unfortunately that wasn’t it,
We weren’t it.
I was a coward, but you can’t , better yet– you shouldn’t hold anything against me because I tried, but somethings are not meant to be. Together we were not meant to be.
I’m not the kind to shift blame but you kept trying to change me, I was often too much of this for you & too much of that–
“& You tried to change didn’t you?
closed your mouth more
tried to be softer
less volatile, less awake
you can’t make homes out of human beings
someone should have already told you that.”
– Warsan Shire.
You’d try to tame me but I’ve learnt to make it on my own & love myself enough to never feel alone.
In the end I apologise for the feelings of hatred & sadness that I may have brought upon you , I apologise for the times i made you believe that perhaps that was love but above all I apologized for making you believe that I loved you.
Young & naive I did not know what Love was or is but one thing is certain, that wasn’t it.
…For now I just want to feel equally yoked & that’s ok.
Ps: You deserve that too. ❤️